Obsession is the Price of Admission

Obsession is the fire that ignites the goal setting process. 

Obsession is the foundation of goal setting. It points attention and values at one standard, keeps you on the work after that initial burst of motivation fades. None of that happens on a vague intention, motivation or feeling. You’re going to need a goal you will actually defend. Obsession is that defense: one concrete goal, specific enough to organize training, recovery, and define what you’ll say no to.

Obsession is critical because attention is limited. When you are committed to one hard goal, competing goals, which are society’s defaults or distractions in disguise, lose priority and begin to look absurd. You’ll start to question why you ever found them important in the first place.  Across a season or even a career, obsession saves attention, cuts interference, and keeps the work going in the face of distant results, setbacks or yes, even achievements. Motivation will always be a poor accountability partner. It rises and falls, comes and goes and tapers off with time. Yet the world praises it and bases action on it. Waiting for motivation, or counting on it solely, is procrastination and avoidance in disguise and just keeps people going back to the self-help section at Barnes and Noble.

You’ll also be lied to even more and be told to be realistic, well-rounded, and to approach everything moderation. That advice spreads attention thin and protects people from facing the risks they were unwilling to take. Equal effort on everything is not balance. It is dilution. Realistic is protective. A dull blade is well-rounded. Moderation produces moderate results. As Navy SEAL Shane Patton put it, “anything worth doing is worth overdoing. Moderation is for cowards.” 

What do you want?

What do you want? The first answer is reflex that is often borrowed or prescribed. In other words, it was given to you. Most cannot answer this without guilt or breaking eye contact or looking for somewhere to run. Find your answer. Turn into one powerful statement. Attention works best with one clear and concrete reminder. This is why aphorisms stick because they are small enough to hold in working memory and easy enough to repeat under pressure or fatigue. Like a cue. Just Do It. Sound familiar?

Goals rest on accepted obsession

Process goals define the work that needs to be done. This is where the hours go, and why it matters: you control them, and they give the next repetition something to correct. They move performance more than outcome goals because the nervous system updates from predictive error. You’ll improve and want to improve again. This builds skill, increases confidence and begins to shift identity in an upward spiral. Obsession without process goals is intensity and action with no target. It’s like firing an automatic weapon in the air at nothing. 

We need an ego check. Chances are your ego is too weak though, not too strong. Ego and obsession combine to create what we consider selfish, irreverent and arrogant behaviors. In reality, this is conviction, boldness and focus. These are attributes that make those with weak egos face their insecurities and the risks they are unwilling to take. Strong self-centered egos have better access to flow state and their skills and talent due to lower self-monitoring and less value of other’s opinions. No, this does not make them bad teammates or poor sports. It makes them stable and reliable.

Obsession points the direction, keeps the fire burning and protects your time. Ego sets the standard and looks forward to the demands. Process goals turn those demands into today’s training and execution. Together they are narrow, rigid, and selfish enough to make others squirm. Many take this as signs of being wrong. It’s not. It means you’re on the right path. Desired outcomes — winning, selection, a contract, a medal — are optimized for but are poor daily targets because they are byproducts and out of your control.

The clock is ticking. It’s time to accept your obsession. Answer “what do I want?” Write it down in punchy powerful clear statement. We’re designed by nature to be obsessed and goal directed so go with it and weaponize and direct your addictive tendencies (we all have it) to work for you rather than against you.  This is often the biggest breakthrough I see in clients. A new level of clarity and tenacity will emerge when this blockage is removed and obsession is allowed to do its job as the filter all your decisions run through.